Period Guilt - Do you get it?
About every 28 days I get my period.
Now I've been married for coming up 13 years, and up until this year, I would approach my period like this.......
"Hey Babe, I just wanted to let you know, I'm sorry, but I've got my period"
As I would say this, I'd feel dread, guilt, and a little bit nervous and ashamed.
Not because my husband has ever reacted badly - in fact the opposite - the first time I got my period while we were together, he bought over a hotwater bottle and some chocolate! He's amazing.
But for some reason I would always feel like I'd let him down - let the team down in some way. (This isn't his fault)!
I'd feel like he might be upset with me in someway.
AND at the same time, I'd secretly be doing a little happy dance inside, because I'd know that those days are sacred to me - MINE.
Aka - No sex.
I feel it's important to write this little "Aka" - because, in private conversations, I hear a lot of women say something along these lines; having their period is a break from sex, and they look forward to that.
Its important to note..... it's not that I, or they, don't love their husbands, or enjoy sex, its that - and I can only speak for myself - there's a kind of inner knowing that this is time for me to just be with myself, to read, to journal, to sleep, to watch emotional or funny movies - essentially to rejuvenate.
Do you ever get that feeling - like you just want to run away from the world, and sleep all day?
This is my - and your - permission slip, you don't need to feel guilty about enjoying a few days to yourself - your body is leading the way, in the way all female bodies do - what would happen if we followed that intuition and desire?
Anyway, this year I've been charting my fertility cycles pretty closely, and I noticed that one day, without intending to do anything different - I said with deep satisfaction, pride and happiness "Hey Babe, I just got my period"!
And he said "oh ok, Awesome".
It was a tiny, but life changing, moment.
Now I know not everyone feels guilt or shame or any kind of negative feeling when they let their partner know they've got their period - and with all sincerity, that's amazing for you - but I've talked to enough women to know this is a thing, a thing not many of us are talking about, or even really conscious of............
So my question is - WHY DO WE FEEL BAD FOR GETTING OUR PERIODS?
I guess a number of years ago, my response would have been a couple of things like this............
- Periods are gross and a pain to deal with -
- I become a pain to deal with, I'm not as fun - I'm grumpy and emotional, and over sensitive -not myself
- I'm making my partner miss out on intimacy
- I'm ruining things
In the last few years I haven't consciously thought this way - but that way of thinking was such a habit, I didn't even know it was there, that the remnants of those thoughts were still there.
What about you - are those thoughts you have or have had?
So, I'm just going to leave you with this thought.....
How different would you feel, how different you would be - if, when you got your period (even on a romantic weekend away), you celebrated your period, celebrated yourself, and celebrated your body......and if that seems weird or uncomfortable - to celebrate - then let me ask you this....why wouldn't you celebrate?
Just something to think about.....