How to achieve your goals

My sister rang me the other day and was like “So what are we doing for Christmas?”
And I was like, “Christmas? Far out, do we really have to plan it now? It feels like we just had Christmas”

It’s July, and we’re making plans, and taking action for December.

And that got me thinking……Am I any closer to any of the goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year?

Oh my Jesus - we’re half way through the year!!

ummmm what were those goals again???

If you’re not a serial *journaler* like me, then consider this your invitation to set out some goals for next 5 months.

A goal is something you want to achieve.

Plain and simple
It’s saying Im here - and I want to get there.
It’s the difference between where you are now - and where you’d like to be.

***BUT, and this is a BIG BUT***
If you think getting “there” is going to make you a happier, or better person, then we’ve got a problem,
because you’ll always be chasing “there”.
Whatever goal you achieve - it will never feel like enough.

So, should we even create goals?

Maybe we should just be happy with where we are. Grateful. Present.

The thing is, when we create a goal - it creates the context for us to grow into the person that can achieve that kind of goal. Having a goal allows us to show up and play the game of living.

It’s not so we can be better, or happier, or enough, or more acceptable, or likeable.
If we don’t feel those things now, then no amount of success or achievement will create it for us.

Goals create the ultimate challenge for us;
The challenge of being ourselves.

So, think about about a goal you have. A dream. A vision. Something you’d love to be / create / achieve.
It might be a parenting goal, a career goal, a body goal, a relationship goal, ANYTHING - dream BIG!

It' honestly doesn’t matter what your starting point is.
It doesn’t matter where you are now - ask yourself what it is you really want - if anything was possible for you.

What are you longing for? What are you craving?

What excitement and fear does your dream bring up in you?

Now this is the important part…….

  • What do you start thinking?

  • Is there any worry or stress attached to your goal?

It’s ok we want this stuff to come up.

Notice why you haven’t achieved this goal before?
What are you scared people will think if you tell them about your goals?
What are you worried might happen if you go for it?
What’s hard about getting to this goal?
What are you telling yourself?
What resistance or obstacles are you facing?

All this bad stuff - this is the good stuff.

When all this resistance, and fear, or worry, or stress, comes up, when you notice what thoughts pop into your head when you start thinking about your goal, then you can see exactly what your obstacles are, (P.S. They’re in your head - they feel real because you’re thinking them ).

So by noticing what you’re thinking, you’ll uncover what thoughts, and feelings, and actions, are keeping you from achieving your goals.

Typically our fears are what’s stopping us.

Our fears keep us stuck. Safe. stuck.

There’s nothing else between you and what you want - just your fear.

Which is awesome news - because your fears are only thoughts and feelings.
Your fears can’t kill you. Neither can your feelings.

But if you want to achieve your goals you’re going to have to do a few things…….

  • It’s going to require you to THINK differently

  • It’s going to require you to FEEL differently

  • It’s going to require you to ACT differently

It’s going to require you - to be you - the real version.

When you sign up to achieve your goals, it’s like you’re signing up for a game.
And the trick is; You don’t win when you win, or achieve your goal - (that’s like getting bonus points.)
You win when you show up to play, as the most authentic version of yourself there is.

How do you know you’re showing up as yourself?
When you play the game of achieving your goals - you know it doesn’t matter if you don’t get there - what matters is, that you play. And when you play, you play with Courage.

When you make showing up with courage your most important measure of success - you win every time.

So, if you were going to play the goal game…….
…….What would your goal be?

What’s your dream or vision for yourself?

It' actually doesn’t matter what your goal is - so long as it’s yours - as long as it something that makes you feel lighter, excited, happy…….you smile just a little at the thought of it happening.

If you can’t think of any goals, (I come across this a lot), then here are a few ideas…….

  • Who do you follow on social media that you think is amazing? What is it about them that you find interesting / inspiring / exciting?

  • Who do you feel a bit jealous of? What is it about what they’re doing that you want to do?

  • What magazines do you feel really excited about reading - why?

  • If you had your time again, what would you do?

  • If you had the time / money / ability - what would you do?

Here are some common goals I hear people saying they want to achieve…..

  • I want to make x amount of money /save x amount of money

  • I want to become a __________________

  • I want to stop yelling at my kids

  • I want to buy a house

  • I want to start my business / I want to do _____________ with my business

  • I want to lose x amount of weight

  • I want to do an adventure race with some friends

  • I want to only eat Vegan / Keto / Paleo / Quit Sugar etc

  • I want to be someone who__________(meditates / writes / loves their body / is a fun mum etc)

  • I want to learn to surf / skate / paint / draw / knit / cartwheel / play guitar ……

If none of these are floating your boat - then you could think of it this way……

  • What would you love to create in your life, in your work, or in the world?

  • Finish this sentence - Wouldn’t it be cool if__________________

  • Think about your life in categories;
    Intimate relationship,
    Mind + wellbeing,
    Personal interests
    …….Is there anything you’d like to do differently in any of these areas?

I meet a lot of people who tell me they’re happy, and they don’t want to have goals - which is totally fine.

But if you’re like me - and you have that feeling inside that there’s more, you want a challenge, you want to create something, you want to be someone who’s having an impact on the world in a different way, or maybe you just have an idea, or feeling, or vision that won’t leave you alone - or perhaps you can see how things will go if you keep taking the path you’re on - and you want to create a different future for yourself………Then consider this your invitation to play.

You don’t need to know all the steps to creating your goal - you only need to know the next step, and have the courage to take it.

So, homework……

  1. What’s the next step you could take towards you goal?

  2. If you were giving your all - what would that look like?

  3. If you had no fear - would would you do?

  4. If your measure for success was effort - what would you need to do differently?

If you don’t know what your goals are - message me, and lets take some time to work that out.
If you
do know what your goals are, but you’re not sure how to get there, why not make some time for a free consult, and we can figure it out together.

Life’s short. Lets play.

Kate image.jpg

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