A week ago it was my birthday - and I wrote this post about ageing backwards - because, I don't know about you - but suddenly I'm not 22 anymore..........the baby weight is still on3 kids and 3 years later, my 6 year old pointed out to me that I have black circles under my eyes, my back is stiff and tired, sex is not always the #1 priority when I go to bed at night, annnnnd if I don't keep up to date with my pelvic floor exercises - I wet my pants when I sneeze.
(I promise I'll cover the sex and pelvic floor another time!)
Anyway - in that post I shared 10 themes I'm committed to for this birthday year, and one of the themes was "Filling up on Energy" - which doesn't mean drinking more coffee!
So, in this article, I'll be sharing a few things you can do, particularly around your cycle, that can help you fill up on energy - the key words here are "to-do" because if we don't take action - nothing changes.
Obviously there are basic things you can do, (which we alllll know - and roll our eyes at - and promise ourselves we'll do more of it ) like........
Lights out by 10pm
Eating nourishing foods
Taking vitamins, minerals and other suplements
Drinking plenty of water
Disengaging from social media on a regular basis
Limiting coffee, alcohol, sugar and any other drugs
Not over exercising
Being in nature
But there's some other stuff you can do, that you may not have thought of - or maybe you didn't think it was important.....?
Energy is my numero uno priority - and from what I hear it's the number one priority of a lot of the women I work with, and hang out with.
Not only do we want more energy just to get through the day - We want more energy to start exercising, to go to yoga, to connect and play with our kids, to start businesses, to be intimate with our partners and go on dates, to write books, to hang out with our friends, to pick-up new hobbies and do things that matter to us!
So what is our energy?
- Energy is something intangible within you, like a river, a life force potential that brings a certain "you-ness" magic to everything you touch and do.
- Energy is also completely tangible, we see it in ECG machines and other medical technology, it's what keeps your heart beating,and your blood flowing, it's what fires through your brain and body when you want to walk, talk, smile, or think - just to name a few!
- AND, science tell us energy is what your body is made of - you might think you're solid - you look and feel solid - but the reality is, your body's made up of energy - so much energy vibrating in the same space, with the same signature, that it's become matter. It's become YOU.
But there's another piece to this pie, which often masquerades as lack of energy.....
It's one that many women feel, but perhaps can't put into words - it's a feeling of missing something, needing something, wanting more - sometimes feeling guilty for wanting more or different, because what we have is so wonderful - but still, there's a calling we feel from within, for something.
The calling can be mistaken for depleted energy, but it's much more than lacking energy - it's that feeling of looking for your sense of self, wanting to feel restored, to revive yourself and feel alive again........
Do you ever feel that way?
Bereft. Looking for something. Yearning. Feeling out of alignment. Homesick for your truest self.........?
Maybe you feel lacklustre, tired, unmotivated, fatigued, overwhelmed, or underwhelmed, restless, irritable - it might feel like mourning or grief, or maybe you feel disconnected and isolated?
Maybe just certain times of the month.....?
But if you do - you're not alone.
Often this feeling can become more noticeable during the Inner Autumn and Winter of a woman's cycle, (that time after ovulation, and when you get your period). It can come up at birthdays or anniversaries. It may set in as you move into peri-menopause. It can come up as the seasons of the year change, or as you move into a new phase or season of your life......or it can just be there.
So what is this feeling?
This feeling is here to wake you up.
The dissonance and discomfort becomes more and more obvious - especially when you ignore it. It's here to create a hunger in you, a desire to search for what nourishes you. BUT this feeling makes you so uncomfortable that it's hard to do anything about it - Which quite honestly sucks - because the way to move through this feeling is to go home, to do something different, to do something about it - to connect to that inner energy of you.
I know - there'll be excuses - I've made them myself a thousand times.......
Yes yes, I know I should, but.....
I don't have the time to........
I don't have the energy to......
My kids need.......
My husband wants........
I've got to ________ first
When I get time I will
But I can't because.......
We all have our favourite ways of talking ourselves out of going home.......
It's not the right time
I'll upset so-and-so
I really shouldn't
There are other things I need to do first
But things aren't that bad
I shouldn't be so selfish
I don't really need to
Next year I'll......
To be quite honest with you - I get it.
As my husband read this article over my should, I could feel myself worried that he'd be rolling his eyes, and thinking you don't need to do that - what you really need to do is _________________!
It can be hard not to doubt ourselves - mainly because we've been brought up to doubt ourselves!
Our culture systematically undervalues this aspect of life and disregards it as unimportant - we're taught as women and men, that this isn't the real work of the world.
As women we're trained to ignore the call.
What does this have to do with our cycles?
It may have nothing or everything to do with your cycle - bring your awareness to what works for you, and what's true for you. You might notice you have cycles within cycles, or maybe you sync up with the moon's cycles. The more your listen in - the more obvious it will become.
The time for you to go home, is anytime you feel called to.
These are just some ideas......
During Inner Summer - Ovulation - Full Moon, we're primed to spend time in solitude. You may hear the call to retreat and be with yourself, to assess any and all aspects of your life - the way you mother your children and the relationships you have with them, the work you do, your intimate relationship, your home, your connection to your parents and siblings, the way you play, how you move in the world......
During this time we ask ourselves - What do I need more of? What do I need less of? What do I need to change, or shift? What am I yearning for?
During Inner Autumn - Post Ovulation, - the Wanning Moon and Inner Winter - Menstruation - the New Moon, we may feel the call, the desire to be alone and connect with our soul, the part of us that whispers what's next, what wants to happen. This is when all the work's going on beneath the surface, it might look like nothing's happening, it might seem like a waste of time, or a like there's no point to it - but without this spaciousness, without this quiet time, without this stillness and darkness - nothing can be brought to life.......
During this phase we spend time alone doing nothing, time setting intentions and connecting to the visions we have for our lives.
When we don't take time......I believe this is part of what PMS anger and frustration is about - we deeply desire time alone, but feel like we can't take it, we're needing to go home, but feel like something, or someone is stopping us.
Tell me where I'm wrong?
What if we don't go H O M E?
If we don't do this work, we become a watered down version of who we were born to be. We become over controlling, stressed, pressured, we become perfectionists, we become obsessed with our own success and ambition. We find life to be dissatisfying.
We lose our ability to speak up
We become dreary
Eventually, we become empty. We have nothing to offer the world or our families.
We become dry and sour.
So what is H O M E?
Home is the place you go that brings a feeling of calm, or ease, or refuge, or pleasure. A place you can rest.
It may be a physical place, a forrest, a beach, a tree or a river.
It may be a table by the window or a deck you sit on.
I could be an armchair, or a bonfire, a patch of grass in your back yard.
It could be the smell of rain.
A warm cup of tea.
A Favourite book
The smell of your childs' head
There are many, many, many, homes. All of us are different.
How do we go H O M E?
Visiting home can happen in a moment - or it may take a week. You may leave your home town, and journey to a physical location, or you might sit in your living room with the kids playing around you.
You don't need to "go on a retreat" or book a yoga holiday, to take yourself home - though that can be lovely.
All you need is the desire and intention to go.
Visiting home maybe a certain place you go to - a field, a mountain, or warf.
Or it maybe something you do, like running, meditating, praying, getting up early before the house wakes up, singing, dancing, writing, crocheting, creating a space you love, preparing a meal, growing a garden, watching a play, staring at the ocean or the sunset, smelling a flower, standing still, listening to the thunder or rain on the roof, lying under the stars, journaling, painting, people watching, feeling the warm sun on your face, or the cool winds whip your hair, reading an old journal or a favourite poem.......
I don't know what your home looks and feels like - I only know my own way home, and even then the path can be hard to take.
It costs nothing.
But the cost of not going is immense
Others, (husbands and children), may not understand your need to go.
You may not understand it.
But that doesn't mean you shouldn't go.
We all know how to get there.
Not going, never serves us.
Where's your home?
Do you go often?
Are you different when you come back?
Does anything stop you from going?
I'd love to hear your experiences of home.
Drop me a line in the comments section.
All my love